So Strong
by BakaRamenBowl
Summary: italy is worried about Germany. GerXIta. Feliciano's POV.


So Strong

Ludwig(Germany).

You know how people often fall in love with the strongest person they know?

Well, that's how it worked for me.

Ludwig.

I've always looked up to him. He was strong in every way.

He was good in athletics and other things. He was the image of health.

When I think of him, I think I understand what Alfred(America) always means when he says 'hero'.

Ludwig is mine. He always saves me, no matter what.

That's what made me love him.

But, to watch that strength diminish in front of me... that hurts. And that is this story.

But it started when he was strong.

It was a normal day. I was training with Ludwig and Honda(Japan). We were running laps.

We were in perfect pace, at least, until Ludwig's breath hitched, and he stumbled.

"Are you okay, Ludwig?" Honda asked him.

"Yes. I just got a stitch in my side." Ludwig gasped out. "That's enough for today."

So we headed to his house.

The next day was his doctor's appointment.

He had been having four month check ups lately for some reason. Then it was changed to three months.

I have no clue why.

When he came home he looked a little upset. He wrote his next appointment on the calendar for two months from today. Then he went and started baking a cake.

"Ludwig!~ Hug!~" I say, opening my arms for a much-delayed-now-afternoon morning hug that he always gives me.

"Not today, okay?" He says. Okay... that's weird. He always gives me my hug. Unless he's really upset.

"Why not?~Please?~" I say, slightly whiny.

"No, Feliciano! I wont!" He yells. I whimper slightly. I had already pushed my luck too far, so I go outside and sit on the fence.

I look in the kitchen window from my vantage point. Honda goes into the kitchen to talk to Ludwig. I cant hear what they're saying, but both are really upset. Honda comes outside and sits next to me on the fence. He looks... what's that word? Oh yeah... Livid.

"Is something wrong, Honda?" I ask, worried about both friends. He shakes his head. This is one of those times he doesn't want to talk. He looks really upset.

I may be childish, but I do know when something is wrong.

"Honda... Please?" I ask, serious for once.

"No Feliciano. Ludwig will tell you when he wants to." And that was all Honda said for the rest of the day.

It has been two years since then.

Everything is okay. Nothing much has changed. Except...

Has anyone noticed that there is always a But or an Except? There is always going to be one...

Anyways, Except that Ludwig seems to be in a slight amount of pain every day. I don't like the fact that he's keeping something away from me. And that caused our first argument.

Honda had been sitting on one side of the table next to Roderich(Austria). I was across from Ludwig, and on the other side of the table, across from Roderich and Honda, were Alfred and Arthur(England).

"So Ludwig? How was your check up?" I ask, still upset from not getting a hug. Ludwig looked up from picking at his food.

"Fine. Why do you ask, Feliciano?" He replies.

"Well, I'm worried." I say. "You seem to be in constant pain and your appetite is getting worse and worse." I answer.

"Just leave well enough alone." He growls at me, but was suddenly fascinated by a potato on his plate

"Oh come on!"I say, raising my voice slightly. "Anyone with a microscopic brain -like me- can tell that you're not okay!"

Ludwig glares at me. "I said 'leave well enough alone.', Feliciano." He says in a deathly cold voice.

"I know what you said!" I shout. This is different from the other times I've yelled. This time, I was dead serious. "But I can't! You refuse to tell me anything! I want to help you, but-"

"Nobody can help me!" Ludwig yells, slamming his hands on the table, and standing up, knocking over his chair and interrupting me. "That's why I said leave well enough alone, Feliciano!"

That shut me up. Tears well up in my eyes. How can you say that? I want to scream. I want to throw his mushy potatoes down his pants. I want to throw a fit on the ground and never stop. How can you say that? How can you say that to me? ME? Feliciano? How DARE you say that?

But instead, I stand up, turn, shove the chair out of my way knocking it over, and storm down the hallway to my room, slamming and locking the door.

I refused to leave that room for three days. When I finally emerge, Honda was talking to Ludwig.

"When are you going to tell him?" Honda asked.

"Never." Was Ludwig's reply. "Feliciano doesn't need to worry about me more than he already does."

"So he's going to find out once you go to the hospital for the rest of your life?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, entering the room. I knew I was a mess, but I didn't care right now.

"What don't you want to tell me? Why will you be going to the hospital?" I ask Ludwig. I was on the verge of tears. I didn't want to lose him. I love him.

"You'll find out soon enough, Feliciano. And I'm sorry about yelling at you." He mumbled the last part. And from the look in his eyes, he was in more pain that before. And he was exhausted.

"So, you're worried that I'll worry about you?" I ask. He nods. And for some reason Honda leaves. I reach up and gently cup Ludwig's tired face in my hands. He looks surprised.

"I've always worried about you, Ludwig. I love you." I smile at the shock in his eyes. Then I stand on my tippy toes, pull his face down towards me, and place a gentle, almost non-existent kiss on his lips.

He's always been strong. And, as far as I know, he's never cried. And it's obvious that he's not about to start now.

It's been three months since then. And it's bad.

Ludwig collapsed while training. Honda and I took him to the hospital, and he still hasn't woken up. I'm on the verge of tears because of worry. We cant see him until he wakes up.

Honda tries to make me laugh, or cheer me up. Heh. I try.

Apparently Roderich, Arther, and Alfred know about Ludwig's illness, as well as Honda. I'm the only one who doesn't know what's wrong.

Finally the Doctor comes out, and tells us that he's awake. And that we can see him. So we go into his room.

He looks perfectly fine! But I can tell he's in pain. He smiles at me, and I try to smile back. I think it looked more like a grimace, because he chuckled.

Everything from then on was a blur until everyone but me left Ludwig for the night. I was going to stay. Ludwig wanted me to, so of course I was going to.

As I layed down next to him on his hospital bed, he told me that he may never leave the hospital. He apologized for not telling me how sick he was sooner. And he told me what was wrong with him. A synonym for death. One little six letter word for 'I'm leaving and I may never see you again.' Cancer.

Everyday after that, he got weaker and weaker. Sicker and sicker. Worse and worse. Everyday, he smiled. Everyday, he acted as though he was okay, and he would be able to leave soon. Everyday, he acted as though we could watch the world go by. I thought he was being an idiot.

But... Everyday... He hid how scared he was.

And it was so he could see me smile.

Everyday... until he died.

He loved me.

Feliciano.

And it took up until now, ten years later, to realize... this is my love story.

It started when he was strong.

And ended... When he was stronger.

Feliciano


End file.
